The blog move from apple to wordpress has been almost as busy as moving into the house we’re living in now, but that’s been a few years so I may have forgotten details. Still, not a move without its small traumas. But, I’m not going to care because you know what? I wasn’t in Sendai last week and its too bad anyone was within what? A hundred miles? In California they’re estimating $40 million in damage and that’s an ocean away. God bless relief workers.
And I could complain that my income hasn’t been steady the past six months, but I’m not going to because I know I can buy groceries for a very long time and on the way to the coffee shop where I’m sitting, I saw one homeless man pushing a grocery cart and another one resting next to his backpack that looked heavy enough to break a man’s back. And I can’t decide whether to feel sad or ashamed that I’m accustomed to seeing that sort of thing now and have to remind myself to be kind and giving to non-profits. When I walk downtown now I always have a dollar in my pocket in case someone asks for it.
My shoulders and sometimes my back ache from the mental pressure I put on myself and the hours I sit on a chair staring at this computer. The Blossoms book I’m trying to get out about my brother’s sad end has really started to wear on me. Then, as I start to feel sorry for myself for something that happened years ago, I see a picture about the uprisings in the Middle East where anger and sadness are turning people into killers of their own kind, their own neighbors, today.
I could complain about getting older, wonder why I don’t look like I did ten years ago, and can’t keep going as long doing physical work like gardening. I went out last weekend to rake and trim and I’m sure of that. I need to work back up to end of summer skills. But then I look around this little avant garde coffee shop that attracts people who look college age and when I got in line to buy tea I thought to myself, “Please don’t stop coming here because you see me here from time to time because I like to see you.” I’m afraid I’ll upset the demographics and the owner will ban me from ever coming again. But, I like to see them laugh with their friends and stare at their computers and then lean over and take notes for something and walk in their clothes like bones on a hanger. And they can eat such big sandwiches and ALL the chips!