Facebook, Blog, and Three-Dimensional Friends

What is a friend? Why do I want any? What is a friend’s job description? These are questions I’ve been asking in the twisted issues of a desired relationship with the world. These are my small, sporadic forays in human interaction.

Facebook – This is my interactive Yearbook of Life. There are

If I didn't know better I would Rihanna's costume indicated a desired distance from friendship. But then, I don't know better. Does she have friends?

If I didn’t know better I would say Rihanna’s costume indicated a desired distance from friendship. But then, I don’t know better. Does she have friends?

photos, lists of accomplishments, smiling American faces with teeth showing, parading of pets (My mother’s nickname for me through childhood was Pet. Was she saying something?) and children, glimpses of daily life, and political views. They expect nothing of me though they do seem to appreciate occasional “likes” and comments. Some people never post anything and I look them up to see any news or find out if they have “unfriended” me. With Facebook I can stay connected or become re-connected with someone who otherwise would slip away–a big bonus for Facebook. These people are available with public banter 24/7, and they remind me I’m not invited to all parties and life goes on without me.

Perhaps my husband's artwork shows a noisy, strange blogger cocktail party where people want to be friends, but no one talks. www.samguevara.com

Perhaps my husband’s artwork shows a noisy, strange blogger cocktail party where people want to be friends, but no one talks. Courtesy of http://www.samguevara.com

Blog – This group is a window to the lives of people I otherwise would never meet. They are not nearly as succinct in opinions or recaps of any subject in the world. They can write on and on and on. I’m impressed by that but sometimes bored, too. I wish I knew a few bloggers as three-dimensionals. Some teach me there is much in the world I’m unaware of and that we all have a very deep connection I shouldn’t forget. The blog world seems like a noisy, strange cocktail party with every generation yakking. I like that because otherwise my life tends to be with people “like me”. They are available for entertainment purposes 24/7, and also appreciate adoration and acceptance. What I miss with blog people is I’ve never looked them in their unique face, shook a hand, been able to observe mannerisms, or enjoy a spirited conversation without the apology or explanation of smiley faces.

Three-Dimensionals – This group of blood and guts people (Who

Our backyard bench that shows true friendship.

Our backyard bench that shows true friendship.

knows, maybe everyone in the blog world is a cyborg.) are those who know where I live, my phone number, and we’ve shared a meal. A few have gotten on airplanes to visit me just for fun, some would send a get well card, others might not hear I was sick until I was better. They are not available 24/7, though they would answer an emergency. They have personal opinions and expectations of me based on experience that few Facebook and no blog people do.

Don't be a lonely ocotillo.

Don’t be a lonely ocotillo.

Time to look at twisted friendship.

What is a friend? Answer: A person I call a friend and hopefully calls me one, too.

Why do I want any? Answer: Because I am human and wired to seek others whether it’s to love, not love, or only to endure.

What is a friend’s job description: Answer: Facebook people give me nostalgia and pleasure in past acquaintances and some far-flung relatives.

Blog people underline not every great writer is published, potential three-dimensional friends live everywhere, and there is always an interesting conversation somewhere.

Three-dimensionals remind me to always keep them in my life and love them for all their perfections and imperfections. They also respond well to acceptance and appropriate adoration. Their voices, the fall of their hair, the uniqueness of their laughter, the way they hold their heads when I’ve said something stupid, well, you can’t beat the three-dimensionals.

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21 Responses to Facebook, Blog, and Three-Dimensional Friends

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    Even an introvert like me needs the “three-dimensionals,” though I find I encounter them less frequently now that I spend so much time engaged in writing-related activities. I have to remind myself that it’s the “three-dimensionals” that help inspire the writing, so best not to forget to seek their interaction! (Love your term “three-dimensionals”!)

  2. Yes, the writer’s life can be very lonely when you’re truly serious about a project. I’ve found as I get older that good friends demand less and are ready to give more. Thanks Carrie!

  3. I have few ‘three-dimensionals’ (love that descriptor) and I appreciate them because when I need a break I can count on them to drop everything so we can have a coffee together. I can tell when they are stretching the truth to make me feel good. I would never give them up. On the other hand, I believe I have met some interesting blogger friends who keep me inspired as well.

    Great idea for a post and a great tidbit to chew on. 🙂

  4. BTW, I don’t have time for FB although I have found friends through FB and they have found and connected with me. 🙂

  5. With all the ways of connecting it seems everyone is making a decision about how and where it makes the most sense for them. I think blogging is great for substantiating how many good people there are in the world, but like you, the three-dimensionals hold a special place. I’m glad you made a safe return home from your trip!

  6. The DC says:

    Interesting and thought provoking post,my..um…friend 😛 🙂 I can assure you,I am flesh and blood,no circuitry,if you prick me I bleed,and I look just like any other guy I guess,LOL (though I get a bit hairy on certain moon cycles…). I’m middle aged of (312 years old…..JOKING) (maybe 😛 ) and feel it when I wake each day,LOL! Yes,100% human here 🙂

    I don’t always comment on blogs I read (maybe I should more often?),but I enjoy the glimpses into other worlds myself,I’ve learned lots of things I may had never known,directions and paths I may had never considered.

    On FB,I grew aggravated with having 100’s of friends I’d known throughout phases of my life (lets just say that some people who you “befriend”,aren’t always friends or good for you),so a while back I cancelled that account and created a new one,and have surrounded myself there with like-minded people who have become important to me over time.

    In person,flesh and blood people,I’m much more selective (I’m not anti-social,I’m pro-solitude,haha! 😛 ),having been burned and taken advantage of so many times in the past,so the few people that I spend time with (outside of my Wife and kids I mean) are very close to my heart and considered family.

    I consider you a friend 🙂

    Steve

  7. Rebecca, I love how you’re analyzed the different types of friend relationships we can have. It’s true that we get something unique from each group, and if we keep that in mind we’ll be more likely to manage our relationships in a way that makes the most sense for us.
    I just got home from a ten-day birding festival in Ohio where I was able to meet a fellow blogger for the first time in our developing friendship, as well as meet lots of three-dimensional birding friends. It pulled me out of my introvert shell in a way I’ve rarely experienced before, and I loved every minute of it.

    • Your way of having an interest like birding and then developing more friends through blogging is the best reason for its existence. At least I think so. All these networks of overlapping conversations, “friends,” and interests I think improve the world and help us all if we use them well, as you suggested. I’m not a birder like you are, but I love to watch them when we “pass” each other. I especially get distracted watching them while I’m stopped at a red light. Perhaps not the best time according to a person or two in back of me. Thanks for commenting.

  8. Thank you Steve, for your thoughtful answer. You hit on the points I’ve experienced with blogging and Facebook. They have their own sphere and I’ve also begun to think blogging is more appealing to introverts since it gives social interaction without having to go through uncomfortable social situations. I think we should consider each other friends :)!. (I’m not as good at the graphics as you are.) As to your age and susceptibility to moon cycles….well, let’s just say I’m probably closer to triple digits than you are and though I don’t grow the hair, I’ve been known to howl.

  9. Amy says:

    Blogging adds a dimension of sharing the interest and brief communication. Anytime, anywhere connectivity is amazing! Great post!

  10. Outlier Babe says:

    First, agree with others that this was an interesting idea for a post, and just as interesting an analysis. Next: Perfectly-chosen illustrations! Don’t think I would have thought of the bench, but it so suits.

    • It was a funner post to write than some and I really have been thinking a lot about friendship and what I expect or want from it. As for the illustrations….I’m not patient enough or savvy enough to get the great web photos some people do, so I usually rely on my amateur iPhone photos. By the way, I certainly enjoyed your website. I enjoyed the uniqueness and the drawings. They seem personally meaningful and like a written chapter.

  11. So nice to meet you here (and thanks for stopping by at my place)! I think we could be ‘friends,’ even if not the three-dimensional kind. I like how you distinguished the different kinds of friends we have in our life. Yes, the most important are the three-dimensional, but yes, I gain much form my Facebook friends (as you say, nostalgia and memories) and from my blogging friends (we teach each other about writing, and yes, even about ‘life’). But I love my friends who can go walk with me, dry my tears every so often, and share a bottle of cab.

  12. I think having friends in different areas of life for different reasons is great. They all help me see and notice things I wouldn’t have otherwise, but I especially like sharing that bottle of cab…

  13. Very insightful, thought provoking post! I too, am an introvert and while I have a wonderful group of friends, I sometimes have to push myself out of the house. I’m reminded every time how great it is to get up close and personal with my three-dimensionals! Writing keeps pulling me back to my desk, however – a book (in the works) and blogging does require a solitary existence, doesn’t it? 🙂 ~Karen~

    • Yes, dedicated real writing does require solitary time and lots of it. But the time becomes soothing and often preferred as you indicated. When I’m with people I enjoy it but I don’t have the driving need to socialize as often I see in others. Since moving to another state I’ve had to seek new three dimensionals and that feels like an effort beyond measure. Thanks for visiting.

  14. curvyroads says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog!

  15. What a unique and interesting perspective. I don’t have many 3 dim friends; hub is my best friend and I spend most of my time with him when he’s home, but I have friends I hang with when he’s gone, just like I spend more time on the internet when he’s not here as it fills the gap. You would be someone I’d love to hang with!

  16. I’d enjoy hanging together. Since I’ve moved to a new state I have fewer 3 dim friends (good shortcut you named them with a funny side), and it’s given me a lot to think about. Having a good man in your life makes a big difference.

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